happy birthday xuan

hahah.. my sis just sent me some pictures of liu xuan's 7th birthday!

havent seen liu xuan and gab for sucha a long time.. when i look at the pics.. i find them cuter than before! lol.

liu xuan is skinnier.. n jie told me gab become fatter. lol. good to hear that gab is gaining weight.. cos we always think he's underweight. but liu xuan needs to eat more!! lol

anyway.. just now after school, i went to box hill to buy dinner. then i bumped into my housemates.. all 4 of them. hahah. they bought ingredients for steamboat. so i had a free ride home.. didnt had to take train home. lol. and we had ma la steamboat when we get home. super spicy!! n very full!!! so nice to eat steamboat in a cold weather. keeps us warm.. though i'm still feeling cold now.

ok. i better go to bed now. 1.08 am.. gotta wake up at 7 later. tata!!

take care.. eat more fruits, build up immune system.. ok? be careful of swine flu. but don't be as paranoid as kelly. lol.

人在福中不 知福

I should be studying now. why am i online? lol.

Well, was reading my past blog entries. It was so much fun in sg compared to here in melb. I don't know why I used to complain so much about having 'no life' when i'm there. If I were to compare those days and now.. the answer is apparent. No wonder ppl always say.. "人在福中不 知福, 要等到 失去了才会珍惜" how true.

Aiya. Actually I have nothing to update. I think I better go back to my books now. Tata!

grids =.=

so tired. have been drawing 12 by 12 n 10 by 10 grids..my hands are tired n back aching. cos i've been sitting on the floor, bending down to do my sketches. I really need a bigger table!!
my only table in the room is occupied with laptop, printer and books. No space for me to do work =.-

the weather is getting colder. tomorrow's temperature is between 8 and 13 degrees. omg. how cold is that. i'm gonna put on lotsa clothings n wear my new gloves hahah.

so sleepy.. tomorrow gotta wake up early again. one hour lecture. zzz .. i still have more grids to draw!!!

procrastinate

I'm procrastinating. I have no mood to do work today. how come? sigh..

ok i must start at 8pm. 40 more mins..

should i do typography or study accounting? aiyo. i can't decide.

erm. ok. i'll do typography 1st. cos 9 pages of sketches to be handed in by this coming wed. -.=

i havent been going out on weekends very often since school started. i think i can only relax during my hols. i'm gonna take winter course which will start on 22 june..the course ends on 28 july. so.. my hols will be 1 month instead of 2.

well well.. i think i've been giving myself alot of stress lately. I really need a good break.

almost may now. i'm starting to count down to my bday. i always do that anyway. i'm still 20.. but i already felt like i'm 21. anyway, my parents told me that they have the intention to fly over to celebrate my bday with me... n stay for 1 week. but i told them not to waste the air fare.. my bday is not that important.. everyone will grow old eventually anyway. n i don't really look forward to turning 21. haha.

ok. my new housemate n his gf r finally back. they have been paying rent but not staying here for 2 months already. everytime they come, they will clean the room n leave.
they just knocked on my door n asked for scotch tape n introduced themselves. haha.

Unexpected

My business exams timetable is out! 16 (microecons) & 17 june (accounting) 2009!! Luckily the exams are in week 15 not week 13. Cos I have so many design deadlines on week 13. Phew..

But I need to revise for my business every week, esp accouting. Btw, I got back my accounting test marks. So out of my expectation. I got 12 out of 15 marks. But it's not that I know my stuff well, just that I was pretty lucky. Cos the lecturer made some mistakes in the balance sheet, so he marked leniently. Haha. But still, I really need to study very hard for it!! Cos I really dont understand much about accounting. Not that I understand microecons much.. but I spent more time on microecons than accounting you see.

These days, I couldnt make myself sleep at night. N my appetite shrinks. Maybe cos of stress. So today, i had a heavy lunch and took 4+ hours nap!! Haha. So now I'm wide awake!! Hahaha. Btw, my stomach kept grumbling so loudly during lecture just now!! Paiseh. hahaha.

自己

“掌声固然可贵

灯光固然美好

金钱虽然炫耀

可是不如回归到自然来的好”

quoted from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BitmTlJhbOA&feature=related an interview

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p.s:

所以别再盲目地跟随别人的脚步或追求物质上所带来的短暂快乐

不要再管别人怎么说, 怎么想

不要在乎别人的眼光

不要把别人的期望规为理想

我喜欢相信自己, 不管选择是对或错, 好不好,

就让我亲自体会, 自己摸索, 寻找所要的答案

对我来说, 在人生起起伏伏的道路上,

最困难的是在不被外界影响的当儿, 做真正的自己

直到我撕下面具, 接受自己, 做回原来的我, 我才会真的成长

belated bday

This week's microecons test is over! Omg. I've spent so much time on it. Hopefully I can get better marks this time round. Cos I failed my previous test by 0.5 marks.. Was so damn upset that time. I don't want that kinda feeling again. N i have a very very bad feeling about my previous accounting test! My balance sheet doesn't even balance.. N I don't even understand the first few chapters.. Don't know how to categorize them.. under assets or liabilities or whatever? Now accounting is the subject that worries me the most. I hope I won't fail the final exam.

Enough of my ranting. Well, had dinner with effie to celebrate her belated birthday. Went to vegie hut .. had tofu n yam pot n szechuan soup. nice!!

I know the food don't look appealing in these pics.. but it's quite good. Haha. The restaurant's packed with ppl. Though.. it's only a small restaurant la. Haha.

Once again, Happy belated birthday effie!!

warning

Just like how my parents worry about me.. i'm also worried about them.
They are getting old.. almost 60 years old.
Hope they are healthy n strong.

These days, I dreamt about my family quite often. Hope everyone is fine at home.

Btw, need to warn every girls out there about cervical cancer. Rmb to go for doc check-ups (pap smear) if you've already done the thing with ur bfs. I know its kinda weird that I mention this now. But you know, it's really common among women. Cos my 2nd sis told me she went for pap smear, and the doc said that her cells are abnormal. But hers is not that serious yet, just need to go for operation and remove them asap. She should be fine i guess.. I'll pray for her.

Try my best

The word is STRESS

Frankly speaking, I've never felt this stress before.

Not even during my sec 4 days, when I failed 5 out of 7 subjects in term 1, failed 3 out of 7 subjects in term 2, failed 1 subject in prelims. Cos then, I had the confidence and somehow knew I was gonna make it through with flying colours.

But right now.. everything seems bleak. I don't even know why I'm here studying what I am studying. I know I like design.. but for business.. I'm not even sure.

Had a chat with Jie. Told her I contemplated giving up.. And she was telling me it's too early to determine anything right now. ..

4/20/2009 1:37:42 AM :: alvee :: -jOnNA i think its too early to give up.
4/20/2009 1:37:46 AM -jOnNA :: alvee :: just that i scared i will fail
4/20/2009 1:37:53 AM :: alvee :: -jOnNA so what if u fail?
4/20/2009 1:38:01 AM :: alvee :: -jOnNA is everyone going to condemn u?
4/20/2009 1:38:09 AM :: alvee :: -jOnNA what is the consequence if u fail?
4/20/2009 1:38:09 AM -jOnNA :: alvee :: fail.. den papa n mummy will scold?
4/20/2009 1:38:16 AM :: alvee :: -jOnNA nah
4/20/2009 1:38:20 AM -jOnNA :: alvee :: like waste so much money..
4/20/2009 1:38:27 AM :: alvee :: -jOnNA i think papa will be more disappointed if u give up
4/20/2009 1:38:39 AM :: alvee :: -jOnNA dun let money bother u.
4/20/2009 1:38:51 AM :: alvee :: -jOnNA can u imagine how much value if u fail fail fail.. and then pass one day
4/20/2009 1:38:56 AM :: alvee :: -jOnNA that amount is invaluable.

so true.. I gotta try my very best first!!!

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ep 10!! pls

Motivate me please.

I'm so scared.. I don't wanna fail I don't wanna fail. But my brain is not working!!!!! I think I'm stupid.

Ah....

N these days.. I'm feeling v lazy... don't feel like doing anything.

Haiz..

.........
......

Btw, I'm waiting for 愛就宅一起 ep.10!!! Someone please upload it on youtube asap! Thanks!!!

I don't like to watch episode by episode, week by week.. Cos I cant wait!!!

I feel like going back to sg. But at the same time, I don't feel like going back. Isn't it ironic?

Going back means having to face truckloads of problems that aren't mine. Not going back means having to face my own problems alone.

Which is better? I'm trying to weigh the pros n cons.

Ideally, I'd wanna go back once a year.

You know who I miss the most? .. I think is gab n xuan. Now I know how kids can make a difference. When you are feeling gloomy.. you talk to them, you'll feel so much better. How I wish they are here.

emptyempty

I hate this feeling..
The fear, the lack of confidence seems to obstruct everything in front of me.
I'm afraid of failures. I can't bear to see myself fall.
But somehow the thought of giving up seems to cross my mind very often lately.
Giving up is an easy way out. But success is never easy.
So if I give up, what do I get? .. Failure.
If I try, what do I get? ... 50/50 chance of success/failure
If I try but fail, what do I get? ... scolding..sadness, fear.. lessons learnt.. then what else?
If I try and succeed? .. good.. brighter future..

Haiz... I don't wanna fail my business!!

I think I'm emotionally imbalance.

I have nothing here.. except freedom. how sad.
So much freedom. but what can i do with it?
the word is 'kong xu'...empty empty empty.......
I miss my family n friends in sg. but i like the freedom i get here. if i can combine both together.. that'll be GREAT! but no, i can't.
Now you know why I keep asking you all to come n visit me. Hahaha.

I'm clumsy these days..
kept cutting myself by accident.
first.. cut my finger by the can lid when opening a can.
second... cut my finger by the paper when flipping my textbook.
stupid.....

寂寞暴走

飞轮海 - 寂寞暴走

作曲:杨子朴
作词:严云农
编曲:郭伟聪

这里的景色叫做曾经爱过
曾存在你的拥抱和温柔
撕开票根独自重游
票价是想念你的痛

你说做朋友并不是朋友
我们比路人还陌生得多　　
感情的废墟重建以後
谁会偶尔回来走走

我站在回忆的入口
?集我左胸口暴走的寂寞
赤裸裸的失落 一目了然的痛
让我无法说泪是因为吹风
我沿着命运的箭头
无奈向前走到下个人的怀中
爱你还没爱够 你却要我放手
谁懂在时间的秘密花园中 你从没走

我说的爱你说的太自由
自由到彷佛我只是说说
未来的风景我没爱过
我只想念你的所有
　　
我的爱你想你都以极速向回忆暴冲
他们能看见的是虚伪的从容

i think this song is quite nice. like fan yi chen's kinda song.
finally 飛輪海 breaks away from their previous boyish style.. songs are nicer now.

愛就宅一起

I spent the entire day watching 愛就宅一起 ..
Watched till episode 9.. cant find episode 10 on youtube. Googled it and found out that episode 10 hasnt been broadcasted yet. So I have to wait till sun or mon...
It has been ages since i last watched a drama..
this drama's nice.. quite touching. haiz.. makes me miss home.........

Fun fun fun!

Went to Crown to watch 17 Again with helen, nansen(helen's bro) n bill.
Zac efron looks super hot only after the 2nd part of the show. It was kinda disappointing at the start.. cos of his hairstyle I guess. But overall, still very shuai!!! Omg. After the movie, helen and I had the urge to pull down that huge poster of him and bring it home! Hahaha. But of cos, we didnt.. Lol.
We went to play arcade n bowling. Bowling's damn ex. 16 bucks for the first game, 10 bucks for every additional game.. well, cos it's at Crown, that's why.

Haha. I finally bought my roxy wallet! I like it.. Haha

After movie, we had steamboat.. then we took a train home. On the way home, i kept singing songs... then when I sang ' ai wo bie zuo' to them.. helen's bro was like 'na wo men gan kuai zuo ba'.. N while we were waiting at the traffic junction.. he went like 'why hasn't the light turn green yet?' Lol!!!

We reached home at around 11pm.. started playing monopoly with vic n quinee for 4 hours straight. Lol. We played till 3+am. It was fun.. Haha.. n very funny too. Cos I unintentionally stole Helen's property card and placed it nicely among my cards. Hahaha. And vic was trying all ways to trade his cards with Helen.. cos apparently helen's the richest among all. N vic told quinee to sell her two mortgage properties to helen for over a thousand bucks. N after helen bought them, vic told her that she can't use it.. unless she pay the bank to redeem the houses. Haha. Omg. So bad.. Helen shouldn't have paid so much for the mortgage properties. Lol.

indeed, happy happy birthday!

It's 6.25am. I'm still awake.

Why?

Because we went to sing k till 4 am!! Wahaha.

It was vic's birthday yesterday.. so his friends, zee, jenny(zee's gf) n peter (a greek guy) came over our house to play poker.

Then, bill and helen came back. N bill suggested going to karaoke! I was so delighted!! Omg.. at last.. after 2 months.. I can hold on to the mic and sing my hearts out!! Lol.

So all of us, vic, quinee(vic's gf), zee, jenny, peter, bill, helen and I went to a karaoke place at box hill. The place's good.. The room is damn big. 35 bucks per person. Kinda ex though. But it was so fun!!! Hahaha.

some pics..

the teddy bear mango moose cake is so cute right? helen, bill n me bought it for vic. the heart-shaped one's from quinee.

Sweetie came to join the party too..

Poor teddy. Knife cut through his head.

I'm fat. haiz. should watch my diet already. no more sugar!!

Watch this video... that greek guy is sucha good rapper!! fyi, there were no lyrics showing on the screen!!

i wish

Today is one of those days when I'm feeling pretty down for no particular reason.
It's sem break.. but I'm not even excited.
I have less than 10 friends here in the entire melbourne. My parents, sisters, brothers, nephews, friends are all not here. How pathetic.
So now I know what's so tough about being miles away from home.. It's when you are feeling crappy, feel like pouring out your frustrations and unhappiness.. but only to realize that there's no one here who can actually listen to you.
I feel like I'm putting a mask on everyday.. even if I'm sad, I have to smile. Even if I'm angry, I have to remain calm.
How I wish I can fill a box with everyone and fedex them over.

Westfield, box hill

Went out with my housemates, Helen and Bill. We went to Westfield, Doncaster. Nice shopping place!! Lotsa good stuff.. I wanted to buy a roxy wallet.. so nice!! But there were only 2 left on the display, both in lousy condition, so I decided not to buy it. Maybe I'll get it in melb central next week.

We had lunch at 'Guai Wei' at box hill. Yummy steamboat.. kinda salty though.. but it's still delicious!! It's quite cheap.. only costs 20 bucks in all!!

Tomorrow it's vic's bday.. so we ordered a cake at a korean bakery nearby.

I finally got myself a heater!! Haha.

Haiz. I find myself struggling with schoolwork. Looks like I cant really cope well..

I need to plan my schedule.. n play less!!

So worried about my business subjects! I hope I won't fail!!!

Nice chat!

So lack of updates these days. BUSYBUSYBUSY! erm. not really? actually I dunno. haha
I am in the school library now. Waiting for my next class, which is in an hour's time.
Called xy and nic yesterday. Wanted to waste all my prepaid credits before the expiry date..which is today!
Talked to xy for like 5 mins.. cos she was having dinner with her parents.
N called nic after she knocked off. N we talked for 2 hours & 40 mins! haha. N i finally manage to get rid of those credits!! Lol. Siti was beside her when I called.. cos they are currently working in the same company. Haha. So I talked to siti for awhile too. Haha.
It was a nice chat!! Alot of catching up n stuff. So good. I will call my friends every month when I have leftover credits! haha..

Thumbs up for the weekend!

I spent the entire day doing house chores, gambling n watching my housemates deal with the duck! Haha. YES the duck!! Cos Quinee wanna prepare a roasted duck for us!! and all of us got so busy cos of the duck!! Need to brush it with marinated sauce every hour, but we don't have a brush.. so we used a mask instead, dipped and painted it. LOL.

Btw, I was on beginner's luck!! I won 6.85 bucks on poker today!! I was sucha noob.. kept asking them what i should do next n stuff. Cos I've never played that game before.. in fact the only game i know is blackjack.Haha. There were 5 of us.. Vic, Quinee (vic's gf), Zee (vic's friend), Bill and me. We played for hours. HAHA..And they were so funny!!! Too bad Helen came back late, if not she could have joined us in the games... it would have been more fun!!More the merrier!!

Haiz. Tomorrow i cant play anymore. I need to continue with my assignment!

Well, afterall, this is a pretty nice weekend!!!!! Cos I really had fun..!!.. though I'm at home. Haha.

Pics resolution no gd.. cos taken with my phone cam..

This is sweetie and tweetie.. Quinee's dog. She's cute.. but kinda clingy though.

Day light saving ends tomorrow!! so it's 2 hours difference from sg's, instead of the current 3 hours!!

Haha. So I can be late for an hour.. and still on time!! Lol.

comments?

I think I screwed up my accounting test!
My balance sheet doesn't balance for goodness sake!!! Haiz. This is bad..so bad..

Thanks tian for taking the time and having so much patience in teaching me how to do an income statement step-by-step online!! I'm sucha noob in accounting!! I really gotta read up!!

Btw, I need comments for my typography assignment. Cos I'm doing a 4-page publication on surrealism n I edited a pic.. incomplete though. Have a look..

I might wanna add humans/animals or whatever falling down from the sky though. Taking reference from this.. rene magritte's painting: Golconda. Or should I not literally do it this way?

But cos.. we are provided with text which talks about the 3 famous surrealists of the time.. and our pictures gotta amplify the content of the text.

Any comments/ suggestions/ ideas will be greatly appreciated :)))

HAPPY!!!!!!!

HAHAHA!!!

I'm so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Typography assignment deadline's extended till after the sem break.. which is like 3 weeks later!! Lol..

I know today's april fool. But I don't think a lecturer will play sucha trick on us right? hopefully not...no.. BETTER NOT! Hahah..

I'm really glad..I finally have time!!

Anyway, had dinner with kitty and adrian after our class today. Actually it wasnt just dinner, it was my first meal for the day. Cos for no reason, I actually skipped my breakfast n lunch. Hahaha. We went to dessert house.. the food was not bad. I had beef with rice.

I finally met ppl who sing!! Cos kitty sings! N I think adrian goes karaoke too! Very gd!! I was telling them that we must go n sing someday!! HAHAHA..

Ok. I need to study now. Microecons test tmrw!!!!!! OMG. Tata!

craving for chocolates now.. though i've just eaten a paddlepop rainbow! lol.

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I wanna watch this!!! Haha. ZAC Efron!