oppa

22 July - our <3 started. had dinner at lygon st. u said "i have something for u" n i was like "where is it? give me.." hahahaha. sorry for being so straightforward lol. after dinner, u drove me to st kilda, chilled for abit, then we went to ur place to watch movie.

23 July - stayed over at your place. you made breakfast for me :) so sweet awww. n we went to box hill to buy ingredients for hotpot.. n i forgot to buy the soup basee LOL. had hotpot with mimi n sam at my place..u made delicious korean rice cake n kimchi~~!!! u said the hotpot was so good.. n i agreed. we played texas poker after that.. 4 of us finished 5 bottles of soju.. we r so good lol.

24 July - had a fight in the morning, u came to meet me after school.

25 July - you finished school early, told me u wanna come to my place.. n i was like ''why..'' n u changed ur mind, told me u r going home instead.. but after awhile, u appeared at my doorstep :) <3 y r u always so nice to me ~~ we watched hachi at my place, then went to ur neighbourhood to chill for abit. after that, i went to joey's place.. n we sorta had a fight that night.. =.=

27 July - had hotpot with ur housemates, mari n max :) u made kiwi soju~~~ hahaha u sent me home by bus ~ n slept over at mine ~~

27 July

我们才在一起5天 就已经吵了两次
我就知道会这样 我的自由就这样离我远去
我不喜欢被控制的感觉
我不喜欢你告诉我 我什么可以做 什么不可以做
感觉你好像要我为你改变似的
我不喜欢你那么说我的朋友 而且我不会为了你失去任何朋友
要是你在一直这样逼我的话 我怕我会受不了
你不要管我管得太严 难道你不知道 你越是在乎 你会越快失去 不要逼我做出那种决定
要是你真的喜欢我 就给我一点空间吧

16 july (sat)- met up with faye for lunch @ big mama, told her how nervous i was about the date later in the afternoon. went to faye's new place in the city.. chilled for abit.. n went to meet terry at 3pm in melb central. walked around in the city.. he brought me to brunetti near flinders... ordered ice coffee, he ordered latte.. after that we walked for abit @ the bridges near crown.. had dinner at this posh korean restaurant.. called "gong" pretty gd food.. korean bbq, kimchi soup, dumplings n stuff.. went to chaplin after that, sang for an hour.. n drank ko jim gam lei. n guess what, we bumped into jonson, bernard, derrick n jenny.. n they were kinda surprised to see me n terry together lol. was so tipsy after drinking. n kept calling him ''oppa oppa.. lol.'' n i told him not to do anything to me lol. went to his place to pick up his car n he drove me home from there. held my hand while driving.. it was a pretty gd feeling.. but..... i only liked him a tiny bit that day

17 july (sun)- he came to pick me up from my place, went to the beach near his place at mentone. the scenery was beautiful, with ships at the jetty .. it was a windy day.. went to a cafe nearby for hot chocolate.. n it was back to the same topic abt his feelings for me.. n i felt the pressure.. wasnt feeling too good that night.. though i know he has tried his best.. he sent me to the station, cos i was going to the city to celebrate michael's bday with the rest. he waited with me at the station.. he hugged me.. but my heart didnt skip a beat.. n i wasnt enjoying the moment cos i kept checking the time

18 july (mon)- he came to box hill to have dinner with me... went to sut n wine.. i felt better on this day.. we talked things out n everything seemed great ;) started to have feelings for him~

别对我有太大的期望

最近比较烦 我不清楚我要什么 可是你一直在催我做决定
我认识你不久 你要我怎么一口答应
其实我不知道 我是真的喜欢你 还是空虚而已
我希望你不要太认真 你会把我吓坏的
如果你没对我那么好 可能我会更加喜欢你
男人犯贱 女人也一样犯贱 大家都喜欢比较难得到的东西
你现在对我那么好 要是我拒绝你 感觉我好坏哦
可是我有一点想要尝试 但是我不能保证我可以跟你在一起很久
我承认我有想要玩的心态 可能我很自私 但是我更怕自己受伤害
我不想像以前那样 那么白痴 我不想再输了
别对我有太大的期望 不然失望会更大的

the month of july

1st july - went to watch transformers with joey n her friends. the movie is pretty awesome ;) after that, we went to sing karaoke~~ till 4am.. n we sent joey's korean friend-terry- straight to the airport cos he was going back to korea for hols.

2nd july - celebrated estelle's birthday at the regency (near southern cross station) the food was delicious.. after that we went to chaplin to drink. n most of them got really drunk.. for once, i wasn't lol. after that, we went to estelle's bf-zack's place to chill. i was super hyper,v jumpy n lunatic lol.

3rd july - zack's housemate-jacob- added me on fb n gave me his no. n we chatted on the phone for 1 hr+. i thought he was weird -.=

4th july - terry sent me a pretty sweet private msg on fb - “Hey Jonna :) how r u doing? Is Melbourne alright? No problems without me? :( lol. I just wanna tell u this... Um... I don't no why I am missing u ... Sorry I know it is so sudden but I just don't wanna hide my feeling! ;( Take care n I hope to see u soon... ”

5th july - i organised a karaoke session - 6 ppl turned up.. we sang so much, n i got tired n hungry. jacob sat there for 5 hrs without singing -.= after that we went to rosegarden for dinner n monga for dessert cos joey kept saying she was hungry LOL. she had a huge appetite that night ;) jacob had to leave early, i wondered y he walked towards me when the exit was on the other side.. n joey told me that jacob wanted to give me a hug, but all i did was waved back n said 'bye bye'

i got home that night, went to mimi's room to chat with her. jacob was pestering me on fb.. i told him ''ttyl, talking to my housemate'' n he was like ''talk to me, im more impt'' -.= but i ignored him n continued talking to mimi. after finished talking to her, i went on fb again.. n he started telling me abt his sad childhood n stuff.. n saying that gals r all stupid, cos they fall for bad guys. he told me not to believe in what guys say.. words r just words -.= it sorta ruined my excitement .. cos i was hoping that the korean n me would somehow work out.. but......it affected me so much that i couldnt sleep. i told jacob that he shld go to sleep.. but he still texted me after he went offline..

jacob: o yeh n fuck u too. na jk. thanks for listening to my rant

me: but am never gonna fuck u =X lol no worries man. hope u feel better

jacob: well ur cat needs stroking i can stroke it for u

me: =.=! stop it

jacob: lol just saying. i would love to fuck u

me: u shld sleep now. am tired too. good night

jacob: lol u r too shy. u mention abt it. when i ask u straight u blush

me: aiya whatever man. am tireddd ahhhh

jacob: i can tell u want sex

me: depending on who tho. can u just sleep... ahhh.. getting annoying

jacob: u can sleep. just dont reply. i just wanna know y u hold sex so dearly

me: i will regret if i do it with someone i dont like

jacob: fair enough. then like me :P

jacob: or do u want me to go through all the lovey dovey bullshit

me: u r forcing me to be straightforward eh... hmmm.. all i can say is.. i will never ever fuck u....

.....

8 july - went to Sugar hair salon to colour my hair n cut my fringe.. now its dark red :) love it to bits. tommy, sam n hanearl came over to my house to chill.. showed tommy what the msg terry sent me .. n he was like ''he just wanna fuck u'' ......
................... sigh......... now i dunno what to do................ im getting affected by what others r telling me. should i just follow my heart n stop thinking so much????? arghhhh

follow my heart or follow my mind?

有时真的很希望我没有把任何事情看得那么清楚
受伤之后就很怕再一次受伤
我不知道该怎么办好 follow my heart or follow my mind?
做什么事都要得到别人的认可吗？
难道我就不能给自己一次机会 什么都不想 让自己陶醉在其中
人家说过程比结果重要 但我还没开始 就已经失去了过程