adulthood

i just realised we are stepping into adulthood already. there are so many issues we have to cope.. the emotional struggles n mental stress that we wouldn't have experienced when we were still kids back then.

although there are people around who are willing to listen to u.. but at the end of the day, it's only you facing all the problems by yourself. so we have to be strong. we gotta know that these obstacles are just part n parcel of life.. we will have to go through it some day.

life's short. treasure the people around u.

tian, sorry to hear about your dad's death. take care of yourself alright. will always be here for u..

Nic's adv bday celeb

THANKS KELLY for the upload! Y dun have ur photos?? I thought i took one pic of u n jeff eating?? Y nv send me? hahaha. actually i know why la. LOL. you must have already deleted it -.-

we met up on wed to celebrate nichelle's 23rd birthday 4 days in advance!

had dinner at haji lane.. a restaurant called THE COFFEE NATION
the place is quite comfy n nice..

but our pasta were super duper spicy!!!

am glad that nichelle likes her present.. we took quite some time to choose. hahaha.. cos im a very fickle-minded person! lol. n something funny happened at basheer... haha. will tell u face-to-face if u r interested to hear. LOL.

well well.. thats about it for now.

EXCITED about going to the beach tomorrow!!! Going to the BEACH with jeslin, yaohuang, sean, engqi n gf , songwei n maybe sean.. Haha. hope everyone turns up ok? LOL.. n pray hard that it wont rain tomorrow.. AM CYCLING!! n gonna enjoy the breeze... hee hee :)

2% 2010-01-28 17:50:30

en need help

2% 2010-01-28 17:50:47

沒這方面經驗 有點小慌張

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 19:50:55

我到墨尔本了。。 在帮你找吧。。 你暂时先住helen的房间。。 我会帮你跟victor说的

2% 2010-01-28 19:52:45

你什么时候回去

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 19:52:51

15日到墨尔本

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 19:53:56

我应该会住朋友家。。 所以你可以放心住helen的房间

2% 2010-01-28 19:54:16

印度人那可以么。。

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 19:54:44

victor 说 印度人说可以

2% 2010-01-28 19:55:54

那用和他打招呼吗

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 19:55:48

应该没问题吧。。 放心

2% 2010-01-28 19:56:15

我去了直接去？

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 19:56:41

到的时候 打通电话给victor 吧

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 19:58:01

victor 的新家在boxhill

2% 2010-01-28 19:58:28

噢 好吧

2% 2010-01-28 19:58:31

到多少號

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 19:58:46

我帮你告诉victor。。 叫他先跟印度人说你会住在那儿

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 19:59:07

到27号。。 helen 回去为止

2% 2010-01-28 19:59:33

嗯 好吧 我一直很擔心到那里之後 和印度人大眼瞪小眼 都不知道怎麼回事

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 19:59:28

我会尽快帮你找房子

2% 2010-01-28 19:59:59

不管怎麼說 先謝謝你了

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:00:19

应该可以在helen回来之前找到房子。。 所以别担心

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:00:39

不用

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:03:55

你几号到墨尔本? 几点到?

2% 2010-01-28 20:05:08

我2月1號到

2% 2010-01-28 20:05:12

應該是下午吧

2% 2010-01-28 20:05:21

北京中午起飛

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:05:27

好。。 我告诉victor 吧

2% 2010-01-28 20:05:57

我去問下具體時間

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:05:59

嗯

2% 2010-01-28 20:06:11

下午3點15

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:06:31

好

2% 2010-01-28 20:06:56

對了

2% 2010-01-28 20:07:02

你還記得那里的網絡密碼嗎

2% 2010-01-28 20:07:07

我換了個電腦

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:07:26

让我找找看

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:08:02

a8a6a5a4a0

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:08:28

记得带我的webcam回去。。 我要用到

2% 2010-01-28 20:09:21

嗯 好的

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:25:44

我在facebook给quinee留言了。。 如果她没回复。。 我会在你到墨尔本之前 打通电话给victor..

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:26:28

就这样了。。 有什么事。。 会再告诉你

2% 2010-01-28 20:26:55

恩 好

2% 2010-01-28 20:26:59

真的太感謝你了

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:28:29

不用。。 帮帮朋友而已嘛。。

2% 2010-01-28 20:31:39

不然我會很慌張

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:32:09

哎呀 放心啦。。 没问题的。。 都交房租了

2% 8:59:35 PM
今年真該努力了 VCE還挺難的

ellolilo. 2010-01-28 20:59:52

嗯。。 加油喽

我知道我不应该浪费时间在你身上
你根本不值得我去思念
可是不知道为什么你的影子总是浮现在我脑海里
虽然一切的一切可能都是个骗局
但是对我来说这也算是一个不错的梦
结局是烂了一点 可是开头还挺有趣的

我真的不知道要怎么用平常心来面对你
我也没把握能原谅你 也没有信心能当你的好朋友
因为我总觉得你是在利用我而已
其实我又想 又不想见你
看到你的时候 到底要笑要气还是要哭 我不清楚

人家说时间会淡化一切 我希望是这样
我盼望着那一天我可以很自然的跟你说话 看到你身旁的女人也不会吃醋 反而会真诚的祝福你们 并且真正的当彼此的2% 我在等待着那一天的到来

听说爱情回来过 - Jolin

Nice Song!! :D

KUISHIN BO~

KUISHIN BO~~

My phone cam didnt do justice to the food pics.. -.- It doesn't look yummy here... But the food is actually really GOOD!! But it's quite ex $40+...

Kelly, your phone has better looking pics!! Send me! ~

LOSER!!!!!!

Can he stop being sucha coward? I checked on him again.. apparently, now he has the intention to make use of amy.. I think he wants to stay at her place when he reaches melb.. cos he doesnt know how to face me. OMG. He's so evil.. he's trying to lead her on -.- I hope amy won't fall for that. Last time I used to dislike her, but now I pity her. Luckily he's out of my life already.. Actually it's really a blessing in disguise. He's a freaking childish loser! BIG BOO to him!!

Well.. I was in the train just now. And I overheard a singaporean guy talking on the phone with his gf...I think the girl's from china..Cos the guy changed his accent when talking to her in mandarin. The guy asked her why she was hesitant to let him meet her parents.. and i think the girl avoided the question cos I heard the guy said "ok fine.. let's not talk about it now.." The guy also told her how much he missed her n stuff..
Immediately, I smiled to myself and thought 'This guy is like a replica of me.. .. Now I know how dumb I looked like in the past... "

This is a lesson learnt. I won't date these species of ppl anymore. I will move on with other species...pls remind me..

Btw, met nicholas (my uni grp mate) for dinner at jalan kayu just now. Cos he wanted to borrow my fuji instant to take photos with his beloved girl. hahaha. Had banana prata.. don't really like it. I still prefer plain prata! haha. I love Teh Cino!

这个世界有多公平?

你现在已经没有资格当我的守护者
我把你列入黑名单了
你的死活不干我的事
我的快乐已经没有你
可是你会一直被埋在我最黑暗的记忆里

我们的过去只不过是一出戏
我竟然陶醉在你一手捏造的谎言
我现在终于清醒了
可是心中还是有一股似乎强烈的怨恨
到底要我怎么原谅你?

也许对你来说 这只是一场游戏
你所设下的游戏规则 我根本玩不起
以前我就一直被你拖着走
现在我们既然选择了彼此弃权
就已经不用再规规矩矩的玩下去了

到头来我还是一个人
你却还有另一个人陪伴着你
我活在你带给我的阴影
你却活在她带给你的幸福里
告诉我 这个世界有多公平?

神木与瞳《守护者》

i like this song :)



词： 廖莹如、马嵩惟
demo： 子轩
吟唱：王宏恩

I su saikin tu malhahaipu (我是你的守护者）
a na tu pa tu iskaisa kasu (无论你在世界的任何角落）
na sauhabas habas saikin maluskunsu （我会永远的守护在你身边）

美珍：
风不吹 云怎麼跟随 只落下酸的眼泪
累不累 付出的轮回 像树海化成灰

Yuming：
你爱的 那一位 掏空你为所欲为 开心地浪费
你眼瞳里清澈溪水
像羽翼 忘了飞 让他把天空都染黑 越追越下坠
其实最初你有多美

美珍：
请当我的守护者 把我抱著
陪我再静静找回爱原来的颜色
拒绝他挥霍者 重蹈覆辙
世界充斥著 多少恶果

合唱：
你是我的守护者 珍惜著我
让心像原野安稳的为了你收割
我们是守护者 让爱复活
这一刻 天空又亮了

pa kai ka tu mapising (所以你不要惶恐）
ka tu minsanamaz （更不要迷惘）
na ka taskun saikin mas su（我会陪你一起走）
na miliskin saikin mas su（我的思念会与你同在）
sauhabas habas sauhabas habas（直到永远永远）

p.s. 你现在已经没有资格当我的守护者 你已经列入黑名单了

My Autobiography

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, Fill this out IN YOUR OWN WORDS and repost as, "My Autobiography" ...
And use your own answers, not anyone else's.

-----

1. Where did you take your profile pic?
Hahaha. no profile pic here? Or u mean fb profile pic? That was taken in my room in sg.

2. What exactly are you wearing right now?
$7 shirt bought at amk with niao.

3. What is your current problem?
No problem now. Problem has already resolved.

4. What makes you happy most?
When I see the person i like.. but now not anymore.

5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
神木与瞳-守护者

6. Any celeb you would marry?
Zac Efron? hahah. or.. Wentworth Miller.. but he's gay -.-

7. Name some one/persons with the same birthday as you:
My auntie!!

8. Ever sang in front of a large audience?
Choir considered?

9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Last time.....

10. Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows?
I like la bi xiao xin!

11. Do you speak any other languages than English?
Mandarin, teochew, abit of hokkien..

12. Has anyone you've been really close passed away?
Yes, grandparents..

13. Do you ever watch MTV?
Yes.

14. What's something that really annoys you?
When that someone lied to me, and acted as though he didnt. When that someone broke his promise. Now I feel like I was taken for granted.

Chapter 1
1. Middle name: Huimin??
2. Nickname(s): Nana, lilo, jackie, jo
3. Current location: my room.. in a mess!
4. Eye color: dark brown?

------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2
1. Do you get along with your parent(s):Kinda.
2.Are your parents married/separated/divorced?: Married.

------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3: Favorites
1. Ice Cream: Ben & Jerrys chocolate chip cookie dough!
2. Season: Winter?
3. Shampoo/conditioner: Herbal Essences?
4. Favorite Things: Polaroid, fuji mini instant, mp3, pop music..
------------------------------------------------

Chapter 4: Do You..

1. Dance in a shower?
No?

2. Do you write on your hand?
Sometimes..

3. Call people back?
Yes. I prefer calling than smsing actually.

4. Believe in God?
Yes.

5. Any bad habits?
I like to lean to ppl when walking..

6. Any mental health issues:
Maybe depression? HAHAHAHA!

------------------------------------------------

Chapter 5: Have You..
1. Sprained stuff: My neck?
2. Had physical therapy: Nah..
3. Gotten stitches: No..
4. Taken painkillers: Don't think so..
5. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling: None..
6. Thrown up at the dentist: Nonono....
7. Sworn in front of your parents?: Nope.. my mum would kill me!
8. Had detention?: Nope.. I was v guai.. LOL

------------------------------------------------

Chapter 6: Who/What was the last
1. Movie(s): Alvin and the chipmunks 2
2. Three people who texted you: Kelly, Nichelle, Sis
3. Person you called: Sis
4. Person you hugged: Who else..
6. Person you talked to on msn: Nicholas
7. Thing you touched?: Laptop, hp, my big nose..
8. Thing you ate? Mee Hoon Kuey
9. Thing you drank? Super sour KOI Bubble Tea
10. Thing you said: Aiya...
11. Person you kissed: Who else...
12. Place you went: Toa Payoh
13. Friend you saw: Kelly, Nichelle....

25 randoms

Audrey tagged me on FB. So am gonna write it here.. cos there r stuff I can't post on FB.. almost my whole family has fb now.. even gab, my little nephew.. haha.

Actually I did this thingy before.. but am gonna do it again.. cos so much have changed ever since the last time.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. Or not, whatever. And tag me back.

1. I'm so angry with someone now.. sometimes I wish I had never met him.
2. I went to church just now, and prayed that I will be a forgiving person. As much as I wish to forgive, but it isn't as easy as i thought.
3. I feel like spitting vulgarities now .. haha
4. I miss melb!! But now, for a totally different reason.
5. I hope all my friends can come to melb to visit me!!!!
6. Today's my sis's birthday! I bought her a 'forever friends' cushion
7. Met nichelle n kelly at city hall just now, had mos burger for dinner.
8. I havent been watching tv for so damn long!
9. Less than 1 month to melb! I'm looking forward, yet not so looking forward. In a dilemma now.
10.I wanna look for a new house with nice housemates!!
11.I'm actually v sleepy now
12.nichelle says my new hairstyle quite 'lian'..haha. but i quite like it leh.
13.I like my colleagues at work. They are quite nice and friendly
14.I'm still stalking someone. I know I shouldnt rub salt on my wounds. I really hope he can change his password.
15.Time flies.. very soon, I'll be back in melb again. and am gonna start missing my friends in sg
16.Now I start to realize that there are actually many people who care about me.. I am so lucky to have them in my life
17.Ever since that day, I wake up every morning and find myself thinking of someone.. and I'll start to be angry all over again.
18.Might be meeting my sis for dinner tomorrow
19.My cough and flu hasnt recovered... it has been like this for about 2 weeks already
20.I was influenced by my sis.. now I like to drink PINK DOLPHIN so much
21.My stomach is so full.. and am constipated HAHA.
22.I still dunno how to use the RETWEET function in Twitter
23.I hope to have an angmoh bf lol.
24.Someone unleashed the demon in me. I'm thinking all evil now. U know what? I actually cursed him every single day.
25.Am gonna sleep now. Tomorrow will be a better day. Jiayou everyone!!!!

GOOD NIGHT!! <3

WHO??

WHO ARE THE BIG MOUTHS? come on n admit!!!

How come even szesing knows about my break up? LOL!!

She said BIG MOUTHS told her.. -.-

I dunno how come news can spread lightning fast!! hahahahahah..

Now I don't even know how many people are reading my blog now.. LOL! maybe even xz himself is reading i also dunno.. haha.. but i doubt so lah.

stupid lyrics!

Hahaha. was packing my stuff n I saw something funny!!
I tried to write a song a few years back.. LOL!! I was like 'wth' when i read it. hahaha...

here it goes...

把相簿打开
所有回忆跟着回来
这么多年的爱
到头来也是一片空白
我不想轻易放开
所以在这里徘徊
一直在等待
但至今你还是没什么表白

把头抬起来
不要再避开
不然你会让我感到很无奈
不要再把我的爱当成是应该
我所受的伤害
一直都往心里塞
我对你的爱是无可取代
但你逼我把这份爱藏起来
我希望你可以给我一个交代
以避免加深我对你的责怪

把这么多年的爱丢开
是一种悲哀
我不想轻易放开
所以在这里徘徊
一直在等待
我正试着让自己看开
相信你总有一天会回来

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA！！OMG!!! FREAKING LOSER LYRICS!!! How did I even come out with that? LOL..

Btw, I deleted QQ, so congratulate me!!! This is one BIG step!! Heehee..

Kelly, Nichelle, Niao ... jiaxiang suggests KUSHINBO on THURS evening to celebrate!!! Leave me a message on my tagboard if u see this. Tell me if u can make it or not. Thanks! :D

At times like this, I feel super blessed n touched, cos i know all my friends are standing by my side, giving me the support i need!! THANKS ALOT!!! <3

N I had my ears pierced again!! The 3rd time! Hopefully this time wont close again ...

:)

I brought myself back from sadness to reality.hahah.
It wasn't as difficult as I thought. Lol. Am coping quite well now. thanks alot to all my dear friends, especially jiaxiang, kelly, nichelle, xueying, joey, weiqi, songwei n weichoon!! :) Thanks for being there and listening.. really really appreciate it :D

You know, whenever I cut my hair and changed my hairstyle, it pretty much meant that I've reformatted my system and am ready to start anew. Haha.

DIM SUM for breakfast later!!! That's to celebrate my 2nd sis's 30th birthday one day in adv!!! HAHA. She's already 30!omg. N I'm soon gonna be 22 -.-

My stomach is not feeling well today. Kept going to the toilet -.- Hopefully tomorrow will be fine. I wanna eat alot alot!!!! Hahahhaha..

Bad Romance is my ringtone now. Shoo away Hot N Cold! hahaha.

Jx, I can give u that book at kinokuniya. I don't need it anymore hahahaha


p.s. go on and keep your head high, but remember to watch your back.

黑白

突然觉得某人变丑了 哈哈哈
也许是因为我对某某人的印象已改变

以前我把黑的看成白的
现在发现原来一直以来它都是黑的

原来这世界没有黑白配，黑白本来就不配嘛
因为黑活在黑的世界，白活在白的世界
两者之间根本相处不来
黑就应该去找它的黑 白去找它的白

哈哈 你们听得懂吧?

黑 试着去漂白吧！！

厄~ 偶尔白也有它黑的一面 哈哈哈

I LOVE MIKO!

I've got a new haircut!!!!
OMG! I LOVE MIKO, my hairstylist!!! I admire her professionalism and her patience!!!
I was so paiseh. Miko and 2 of her colleagues had to do OT cos of me! I was their last customer you see..

But MIKO is a v good hairstylist!! Go to JERIC (previously known as REDS) at Bugis!! Find Miko!!!!

I had soft rebonding with zigzags hahahah. sounds cool eh. I like it :)

Here are my 自拍s!!!









When you see me acting this CRAZY, means I'm quite emotionally stable.. and am not depressed anymore!! HAHA.. just having some stupid fun!!! HAHA.. I'm not lunatic ok! LOL. I wont be so dumb to drive myself crazy cos of so-and-so. It's not even worth it.

Having a really bad sore throat and flu.. I hope I won't cough my lungs and internal organs out! hahahaha.. super exaggerating eh. lol

healing

At first I thought I would cry myself to sleep everyday.
BUT I DIDNT! Hahaha. I only cried for 2 days. 1 day for him, 1 day for me cos i actually sympathized with myself for being sucha fool. After that, the days were filled with anger and thoughts of revenge. Luckily he wasnt here.. cos the past few days, I really felt like killing him to ease my pain!! HAHA. I was so evil but don't worry.. I don't the guts to do that! For some reason, today I felt so much better.. perhaps I'm slowly letting go.. and facing the reality. I guess my wounds are healing.. Hope I'll have a speedy recovery! I'm done and over with china guys, my next aim will be angmohs! HAHAHAHAHHA.. I'm going global. LOL! But actually I dont really like long distance r/s. Maybe I should just stick to sg guys? hmmm............

I FEEL LIKE SINGING K!!! But am having a bad sore throat -.-

I really need a haircut! so messy la.

可笑又可悲的人生

我这可笑又可悲的人生

我应该学会原谅 这样对彼此都比较好

这次我决定走出回忆重来 就一直往前走 不回头看 相信以后的人生会更美好

祝福我~

朋友们，谢谢你们的关心！有你们的支持，我一定能振作起来的！！！！！

其实我只不过哭了两天罢了嘛。。也没什么。。 现在只是气还没消。。

就当彼此的2%吧

其实我越想越生气
没错 那天我还挺违心的。。 说那些有的没的

你把我当什么? 你的玩具吗?
从头到尾你只想到你自己的幸福
几时想过我的感受
说什么不知道我珍惜。。
如果不珍惜的话， 我上QQ来干嘛， 画那些无聊的东西来干嘛。。 自己爽吗

打电话只是说想谈，都没对你发火， 反而被骂了，说我烦。。
哈。。 到那种时候你还能理直气壮， 我佩服你
你别担心。。 我已经把你北京的电话都给删掉了。。 我不会再打电话烦你了。

我不知道为什么那天那种情况我还可以替你着想
第2次打电话给你时，你说女朋友在你家。。 我就马上挂电话了。。
我现在想想。。 我觉得我那天真的有病。。

我也搞不清楚你到底想干嘛
说什么如果喜欢别人会先告诉我。。 结果呢。。
把女朋友介绍给你朋友和家人之后，还是没打算跟我说实话
你是想回到墨尔本了，才跟我提分手吧。。然后这段时候就让我一个人等着你。。想要给我一线希望然后再把我的希望给破灭吗
或者。。 你想要继续隐瞒我。。 以为我会傻傻的被欺骗。。。 然后你就可以两边都有女朋友
不管是哪个。。听起来都不妙。。。

我现在说这些。。 是因为很生气。。 我并不恨你。。
因为我知道。。 也许你一直以来没有真正喜欢过我。。。是我自找的，是我活该
从一开始就是一个错误。。 我根本不应该出现在你的人生当中。。

虽然你最后做错了。。 可是你还是给过我一段美好的回忆
我谢谢 你给的和你拿走的一切

我现在只需要时间冷静下来
到时候我应该能微笑的面对你

你不用觉得没脸见我。。我们会这样。。我应该也有一点点错。。也许我做的不够好。。 不够信任你。。
既然都说好当好朋友了。。所以我希望你不要刻意避开我。。
我们就当彼此的2%吧。。

GE QIAN

I think MA XIAOZHOU should listen to this song man. I'm calling him by his full name.. cos he hates ppl calling him like this. HAHA.

~搁浅~
歌: 周杰伦
作词: 宋健彰 作曲: 周杰伦
钢琴: 周杰伦 编曲: 钟兴民
made by cih99

久未放晴的天空
依旧留着你的笑容
哭过却无法掩埋歉疚

风筝在阴天搁浅
想念还在等待救援
我拉着线复习你给的温柔

暴晒在一旁的寂寞
笑我给不起承诺
怎么会怎么会你竟原谅了我

我只能永远读着对白
读到我给你的伤害
我原谅不了我
就请你当作我已不在

我睁开双眼看着空白
忘记你对我的期待
读完了依赖
我很快就离开

久未放晴的天空
依旧留着你的笑容
哭过却无法掩埋歉疚

风筝在阴天搁浅
想念还在等待救援
我拉着线复习你给的温柔

暴晒在一旁的寂寞
笑我给不起承诺
怎么会怎么会你竟原谅了我

我只能永远读着对白
读到我给你的伤害
我原谅不了我
就请你当作我已不在

我睁开双眼看着空白
忘记你对我的期待
读完了依赖
我很快就...

我只能永远读着对白
读到我给你的伤害
我原谅不了我
就请你当作我已不在

我睁开双眼看着空白
忘记你对我的期待
读完了依赖
我很快就离开

N I'm dedicating this song to him...LOL.



Although I dun hate him.. but am kinda angry.. for the hurt he brought to me. Am just trying to vent my anger.

Joey.. u're smart! about the stages thingy u mentioned :)

thanks!

freaking sian. if only i dun have to work tomorrow. hahaha.
abit lazy already..

went kbox with songwei, weichoon n 3 of their friends.

then went to meet jiaxiang.

thank u so much guys for helping me.. n being there when i really need someone to talk to.. :)

i guess i need to set some new goals for myself.. n then, strive for it.

i need a haircut!!!! n a new hair colour!!!

n next year, am gonna look for nice cool place to stay.. perhaps somewhere with nice and good-looking housemates.. hahah.

i hope i can make more friends in aussie this year!!! I guess by april i'll get over xz n move on..
cos ppl say... depending on how long ur relationship lasted, u will use the same amount of time to get over the person. So since our r/s was only 3 months and 9 days.. i will get over him by april 18 hahahahah.wish me luck!! :))

Friends, we will be.

I've been coping with my emotions v well until this evening.
Went to watch alvin & the chipmunks 2 with my sis. While watching, I felt like crying..
Memories came running back to me.. the song 'Hot N Cold', break dancing... Now even walking past 7-11 reminded me of him. Whenever I see a stranger on the street, I imagined it's him wearing that same old jacket, with the same hairstyle.. standing in front of me.
I'm sucha retard.. it took me one day to realize what's really happening. I thought I was strong.. I thought that as long as I think positive and acted happy, everything will be fine. I thought I've moved on. I thought he was nothing to me.
I don't blame him, I don't hate him, everyone makes mistakes, it's normal that humans hurt one another.. that's life, though it's a cruel reality.
Well, I'm sure I'll be alright. This is just the start to a new beginning. It was a good experience and a nice learning process. At least, I'm proud of myself for being so forgiving.
Friends, we will be.

我放手
我让座
假洒脱
谁懂我多么不舍得

相信你只是怕伤害我 不是骗我
把我的梦摇醒了
用心酸微笑去原谅了 也翻越了
有昨天还是好的
开始懂了 快乐是选择

这一刻回头看见自己
这一路的风景百感交集的我
越过生命悲喜陪伴着我前进
因为你让我看清自己
面对未知的恐惧脚步更加坚定
雨后的天空会有绚烂的彩虹

1/9/2010

日期:1/9/2010

2% 1:01:22 AM 當你最後說 哎 天哪

2% 1:01:25 AM 我的心很疼

jonna 1:01:54 AM 为什么?

2% 1:01:57 AM 對不起 2% 1:02:05 AM 我讓你失望了

2% 1:02:10 AM 其實你是對的

jonna 1:02:11 AM 我知道

2% 1:02:14 AM 我有女朋友了

2% 1:02:17 AM 就是薛楠 2% 1:02:22 AM 打架的事也是因為她 2% 1:02:29 AM 我不知道該說什麽好

jonna 1:02:31 AM 我知道

jonna 1:02:38 AM 早知道了

jonna 1:02:45 AM 我一直在装

2% 1:02:51 AM 我只想說對不起

jonna 1:02:58 AM 所以呢

jonna 1:03:06 AM 现在想怎样

2% 1:03:19 AM 對不起讓你傷心了

2% 1:03:29 AM 哎

2% 1:03:50 AM 這都不是你不夠好

2% 1:03:52 AM 不是你的錯

jonna 1:03:57 AM 我试着相信你

2% 1:03:58 AM 你很好 很善良

jonna 1:04:02 AM 可是

jonna 1:04:11 AM 我知道

jonna 1:04:20 AM 只是觉得被利用了

2% 1:04:23 AM 沒錯 我不知道你珍惜

2% 1:04:33 AM 我不許你那么想

jonna 1:04:55 AM 我不知道你想干嘛

2% 1:05:06 AM 也許我們該分手了吧

jonna 1:05:13 AM 一下叫我找房子

jonna 1:05:27 AM 一下又有女朋友

jonna 1:05:37 AM 不是利用是什么

2% 1:05:40 AM 薛楠能很好的理解我的愛好

jonna 1:05:49 AM 我知道

jonna 1:05:57 AM 算了

2% 1:05:57 AM 而且也很能和我玩到一起

2% 1:06:01 AM 對不起

2% 1:06:19 AM 你可以恨我討厭我

2% 1:06:24 AM 但不許你怪自己

jonna 1:06:29 AM 其实我不想在这种情况下分

jonna 1:07:11 AM 随便你

jonna 1:07:28 AM 反正你快乐就行了

2% 1:07:35 AM 別這么說

jonna 1:07:37 AM 谁管我啊

jonna 1:07:51 AM 我早就该死了

2% 1:08:02 AM 別這樣

jonna 1:08:26 AM 你高兴就好

jonna 1:08:40 AM 我现在也就解脱了

2% 1:08:44 AM 我希望 我們能是很好的朋友

jonna 1:08:49 AM 哈哈

jonna 1:08:57 AM 你觉得呢

jonna 1:09:02 AM 如果你是我

2% 1:09:02 AM 為什麽不
jonna 1:09:13 AM 你前女友

jonna 1:09:26 AM 你都恨不得她死

2% 1:09:36 AM 但我現在不這么想了

2% 1:09:41 AM 我挺感謝她的

jonna 1:09:46 AM 我现在被劈

2% 1:09:47 AM 可能需要時間吧

jonna 1:10:12 AM 你应该知道什么感受吧

jonna 1:10:20 AM 算了

2% 1:10:21 AM 嗯

jonna 1:10:40 AM 我还是可以帮你找房子

2% 1:10:48 AM 真的嗎

jonna 1:11:02 AM 可是不是因为什么

jonna 1:11:19 AM 只是因为我想

2% 1:12:55 AM 她在我家

2% 1:14:04 AM 她宿舍11點就關門了

2% 1:14:17 AM 玩太晚了就直接住我這了

jonna 1:14:22 AM 我15日 7点多到melbourne.. 帮我开门就行了

jonna 1:14:35 AM 不用跟我解释了

jonna 1:14:40 AM 没必要

2% 1:14:57 AM 沒有解釋

jonna 1:15:21 AM 15 日帮我开门

jonna 1:15:41 AM 我应该不用QQ了
2% 1:17:39 AM 我對不起你

2% 1:17:44 AM 你不必原諒我

2% 1:17:47 AM 對不起

jonna 1:17:52 AM 不需要说这些

2% 1:18:02 AM 我很後悔 但我已經走上這條路

jonna 1:18:04 AM 我觉得奇怪

2% 1:18:04 AM 不能回頭了

jonna 1:18:16 AM 我现在什么感觉都没有
2% 1:18:16 AM 那我不說了

2% 1:18:21 AM 嗯 2% 1:18:37 AM 希望你以後 做什麽 都要順利

2% 1:18:40 AM 加油！

jonna 1:18:46 AM 15 日帮我开门就行了

2% 1:18:53 AM 也許我不回去了

jonna 1:19:03 AM 哦?

2% 1:19:08 AM 我不知道怎么面對你

2% 1:19:15 AM 我自己找地方吧

jonna 1:19:16 AM 没关系

jonna 1:19:31 AM 你psp 还要吗

jonna 1:19:45 AM 都约好朋友星期天去买

2% 1:19:48 AM 我會買的 你放心 不會買拿

2% 1:19:56 AM 不會白拿你的

2% 1:20:01 AM 我用錢買

jonna 1:20:10 AM 我本来还想送你的

2% 1:20:19 AM 呵 不值得

jonna 1:20:25 AM 8gb 吧

jonna 1:20:52 AM 你到时候还是回去那里吧

jonna 1:21:04 AM 钱我都交了

jonna 1:21:17 AM 回去boxhill

jonna 1:21:33 AM 不然我白交房租

jonna 1:22:30 AM 那就这样说好了。。

2% 1:23:01 AM 都再说吧

jonna 1:23:10 AM 怎么再说

2% 1:23:19 AM 回不回去

jonna 1:23:34 AM 好吧

jonna 1:23:42 AM 看着办吧

jonna 1:23:55 AM 不用刻意避开

jonna 1:24:04 AM 其实我没恨你

2% 1:24:12 AM 我会尽我所能

jonna 1:24:21 AM 好啦

2% 1:24:21 AM 去弥补我的错 2% 1:24:26 AM 以后有事情

jonna 1:24:28 AM 朋友就朋友啦

2% 1:24:32 AM 只要是我能帮你的

2% 1:24:39 AM 我一定会尽我的全力

jonna 1:24:40 AM 可以是朋友

2% 1:24:53 AM 我现在也很难过

2% 1:24:57 AM 加上点后悔

jonna 1:25:03 AM 我们就当好朋友吧

2% 1:25:07 AM 我觉得我伤害了一个我没有资格去伤害的人

jonna 1:25:20 AM QQ 我就放着

jonna 1:25:34 AM 以后还会有事要拜托你

jonna 1:25:45 AM 我刚才说气话

jonna 1:26:03 AM 就当好朋友吧 2% 1:26:10 AM 好

jonna 1:26:14 AM 那你也不会那么难受

2% 1:26:14 AM 最好的朋友

jonna 1:26:46 AM 不用避开我了 jonna 1:26:55 AM 都说是朋友 jonna 1:27:08 AM 所以现在见面也不用尴尬 jonna 1:27:26 AM 我祝福你们 jonna1:28:14 AM 以后再聊吧 jonna1:28:29 AM 不打扰你们了 jonna1:29:55 AM 哦。。 对了。。 psp要什么颜色? jonna1:30:15 AM 黑对吧

jonna1:30:51 AM 你再告诉我吧。。

jonna3:04:31 AM 不知道你还在吗。 可是就只想告诉你。。 其实还挺奇怪的。。我没有很伤心。。 反而觉得轻松多了。。 我比我想像中更坚强。。 可能从头到尾。。我是爱自己比较多吧。。 所以就也没觉得怎样。。。 也许我也利用了你。。 来填补我的空虚。。不管怎样。。 也许做朋友是更好的选择。。你才18岁。。我也不想害你， 一直牢牢绑着你。。 找一个跟你一样年龄的也比较好吧。。 我只是不喜欢被骗的感觉。。因为我觉得你把我当傻瓜了。。 其实我什么都知道。。 不管怎样， 祝我们友情万岁！

byebye

this is so ironic. what im feeling right now. haha.

mixed emotions. but felt more relieved than sad. it's like a load taken off my back. i feel so light all of a sudden.

everyone might think im crazy. haha.
but i seriously think im happier.
im stronger than i thought.

anyway, we broke up. very fast eh. 3 months plus..

faster than i imagine. but its better to end it earlier if it's not going anywhere.

well well.. me n him r still friends la.

suddenly i become so calm.. super NOT ME! haha.

2% 1:25:07 AM
我觉得我伤害了一个我没有资格去伤害的人

2009 & 2010

6 days has passed since the beginning of 2010.
i forgot to sum up my 2009.. n the new year resolution just slipped my mind hahaha.

well.. 2009 was considered a relatively good year for me.
it was a colourful year.. lived in a new environment, met new people, made new friendships & also a relationship.

there are so many people i wanna thank.. for always being there through my thick n thin, sharing my happiness and sadness.

to my beloved friends:

jiaxiang - thank you for tolerating my random calls at strange hours of the day.. asking you stupid stuff n random questions haha.. i remembered i asked you "what do you wear to sleep?" haha. cos xz n i were having a dumb conversation about what guys normally wear to sleep. LOL. so i decided to ask you. :D

nichelle - thank you for always talking to me on msn.. like almost everytime i was online..listening to me and giving me advice that i need.. n i was really very touched to receive the parcel you sent over to melb.. n i like the stuff v much, especially the bag :) very thoughtful of you.

kelly - thank you for tolerating my spamming of phone calls and listening to me during your working hours. sometimes, you'll just sms me and showed concern after reading my blog.. i was so touched! N not forgetting, the webcam that xz n i like!! ;)

xueying - thank you for giving me very wise advice.. and replying my emails after i smsed you.. your words really showed alot of concern which i really appreciate.. also thank you for meeting up with me so many many times ever since i came back to singapore for the holidays. :)

joey - thank you for always being there when i needed someone to talk. all your encouragements and concern meant alot to me. i think you are the only good friend i have in melb. someone who will never judge me and accept me for who i am :) let's jiayou together!

helen - thank you for organising my 21st birthday celebration and your present . thank you for always sharing your snacks and 辛拉面 with me.. u always call me to ask if i needed food and also checking on my safety when i didnt get home by midnight.

xiao zhou - thank you for being sucha nice boyfriend and tolerating my nonsense. thank you for catching the big scary moths for me and accompanying to the toliet in the middle of the night, when it's dark and eerie. now in sg, whenever i see moths in my room, i hope you are here to catch them.. hahah. thanks for making me happy when im sad.

bill - thank you for always cooking for us. you're a great cook!!!

nicholas and rachael - thank you for being such good team members!! n tolerating with me when i whine about my life.. hahah. thanks for listening! and when you all knew i had exams, you all were so nice to excuse me from the meeting :)

tian - thank you so much for your time and patience.. really appreciate it when you taught me accounting online.. step-by-step.. and giving me all the formulae. you are my saviour!

songwei - thank you for talking to me on msn when i am really really bored. hahaha. and showing me funny videos.. haha..

sean - thank you for emailing me and asking me about my life.. and giving me motivation when i really needed it.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!~

Ok here's my new year resolution for 2010:

* be a better friend/gf/sis/ daughter
* slim down
* learn to trust
* study harder
* be happier
* learn to cook
* be more positive!

that's about it for now :)

me n valentine's day

I'm flying back to melb on 14 feb evening.

I dunno whats with me and valentine's day. Last year I flew back on valentine's day too -.-
ok.. every year i will set 14 feb as my return flight date!! hahahah.

I'm kinda sleepy now.. at last!! for the past few days, i slept at 4-5+ am. haha

Went to orchard to settle my air tix thingy just now. then met up with kelly.. went to orchard,kinokuniya, coffee club... had a nice chat :)

p.s. kelly, am so happy for u!!!! fiesta!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yes.. i took part in the Dell Design Competition.. if you all happen to be free, and don't find it troublesome to register an account.. then VOTE FOR ME!!! HAHAHA.. provided u think it's nice la.. not nice can dun vote hahaha.. thanks in adv!!!

Click HERE to vote!

wide awake

my body clock is freaking screwed up!
it's 4.41 in the morning. im still WIDE awake!!!

since i cant sleep, i decided to plan for my trip back to melb..

there are so many things to be done.. let me do up a checklist.

1) look for houses
2) haircut/dye
3) psp
4) bring fujimini instant
5) olay body butter
6) school fees/paperwork
7) buy gifts back
8) call qantas
9) buy a new external hard drive
10) reformat laptop
11) buy shoes/pjs/clothes
12) g tech pens

food that i must eat before i go back

1) mee rebus
2) more hokkien mee!!!
3) stingray
4) chicken rice
5) prata
6) char kuey tiao
7) carrot cake
8) oh ya.. laksa!!!!!!
9) prawn noodle
10) tamago at nyp's koufu
11) duck rice at bugis!
12) mee pok

HAHAHA... so much!!! i must cover the first 9.. lol. my JIAN FEI JI HUA how?? hahahaha...

hahahahha. so random..... thats abt it for now. tata!! am gonna try to make myself sleep... good morning!

2010

Now I'm updating for the seek of having the numbers: '2010' appearing on my blog. haha. -.-

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

A new year is a new beginning... and hopefully this year will be filled with lotsa fun, happiness n love! :)

On 31 dec, had steamboat with niao, fan lan si, kailin, mok, szeing n jiewei. niao, fan lan si n kailin left early, so the rest of us headed to esplanade for the countdown n the 10 mins fireworks! actually kelly n jeff wanted to join us.. but the place was freaking packed. wira came after work, and we went to lao ba sa for supper. we went home at around 1+am..