Tell me why

Life's always so unpredictable. If we knew what God's plans were.. would we have done things differently? From the start, if we knew we were to die, would we have chosen to live? If we had the choice, what would we do? Why do we have to live by God's plans? Is life on earth merely a game, or a test? Why are there so many tests? What's the result of passing them? We go to heaven? What's up there? Why is everyone striving to go there? A paradise? But why can't we go there together? Why do you have to tear us apart? I just don't understand.. God, can you tell me why?

.....

Received a call from my aunt. She told me ah gong was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, can't live for long. I'm so afraid. What if I'm already in Aussie? Or should I defer my studies to August?

God, can you let me see him till the very end?

--------

Added at 10.39 pm:

Just came back from the hospital. Good to see that ah gong is talking so much.He kept telling us about the stuff from the past, introducing to cousins we already knew and blabbering about random stuff. At that instant, memories flashed through my mind.. I felt sad. Jie and I cried abit. Somehow I had more memories with ah gong compared to ah ma. So if anything happens, I guess I would be more affected this time. Btw, we recorded a video of ah gong just now.